Preparing for a fast

Food glorious food

Whist stuffing ourselves at Mcdonalds yesterday, my husband Sam confessed a concern he has about what I am doing- the fast.
Without belief that I’m doing it for God, and with pretty much no previous experience, and the fact that I could easily be described as an overeater, well it all seems like a recipe for torture and not a spiritual journey.
I don’t want this month to be just about how hungry I am, the fast is just one part of the many I am exploring.
Sam suggested I start like Muslim children- extending the periods of abstaining from food as I go along until I get to a point where I can do a whole day.
Fantastic idea, but I know converts to Islam that manage their first Ramadan and live to tell the tale. So I will take that concept but start before Ramadan, so that on day one I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.
For my first day of preparation, I’m going to start easy. Finished breakfast by 9am and eat something small at 3pm. Dinner will be late tonight as it is a meal with friends so about 8pm.
This might not sound like a hard start, but when I say I’m an overeater I’m NOT exaggerating. I’m the type who starts a diet every day and by 10am I have raided all the cupboards.
With about nine days to go (Ramadan isn’t a set yearly date and it isn’t officially announced it is about to start until the day before) I hope at the very least I will have become used to not snacking throughout the day and just having set meals.
Boy will I miss my daily cake, crisps, chocolates, lollies, cheese, sweets, biscuits… hey I told you I was an overeater!

I welcome any advice when it comes to fasting and peoples own stories of their first fast.

Can an atheist pray?

Definition of prayer
noun
a solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or another deity: I’ll say a prayer for him -oxford dictionary

On my page “Embracing Islam” I mentioned how I was going to learn to pray, but what does that really mean to an atheist? Well the first thing to remember is that you cannot be blasphemous to atheism. If you do not believe in deities you automatically fit into the atheist box, nothing else you believe and do matters. You don’t have to believe in evolution or own a copy of The God Delusion, you don’t even have to be anti religions. In fact, you can even follow a religion, after all many Buddhists and spiritualists are in fact atheists. If I sit in a church I am not betraying my atheism, there is nothing I can do that goes against my disbelief other than actually believing in gods, in which case I would no longer be an atheist so it wouldn’t matter.
So, based on principle, yes we can pray. But, on the actual definition, no we cannot, in theory…
There is a saying that there are no atheists in foxholes, it comes from the idea that when people are faced with real danger, they all hope/seek a higher being.
That saying is rubbish. There is a difference between hope and belief, there is also a difference between praying for help and believing a deity is listening. Sometimes when in a certain situation it is comforting to privately ask for help just for the distraction, it can be a god, superman or the invisible pink unicorn, but usually we are unintentionally calling for our own strength.
So what do I plan on doing when I say I will learn to pray? Firstly I will learn the Islamic method of prayer called Salah. If you have ever seen a Muslim pray you would be hard done by to say it isn’t peaceful and beautiful, especially when it is in a group. When I first ever saw my husband pray I was worried I would laugh, or find it uncomfortable viewing, but this was not so. Their inner calmness radiates and the world around them seems to dissolve. They get to that point through connection to God, and I am hoping to feel similar by using the time of pray for meditation.
The benefits of meditation on the mind have long been documented, and I can see why taking a few minutes five times a day for some reflection and calmness can be beneficial (especially when most of my day consists of running around after a chaotic toddler).
So although I might not be able to fully experience prayer, I do think it possible for an atheist to get something positive from it.

Does a Muslim woman have to walk behind her husband?

Barbara Walters of Television’s 20/20 did a story on gender roles in
Kabul, Afganistan, several years before the Afgan conflict. She noted
that women customarily walked 5 paces behind their husbands. She
recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind
their husbands. From Ms Walter’s vantage point, despite the overthrow
of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even
further back behind their husbands and are happy to maintain the old custom.
Mr Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, “Why do you
now seem happy with the old custom that you once tried so desperately to
change?
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without
hesitation, said, “Land mines.”

Ten days to go, time to get the word out. I have already passed the obstacle of my husband, who I had originally feared would see it as an insult to his beliefs, but actually he was more interested in the technical side of blogging, so now the rest of the world.
During last nights work shift I dropped it into conversation.
“So you have to walk behind your husband?” asked a co-worker.
Oh dear.
I guess I can’t really blame co-workers with little to no experience in Islam to confuse culture and the religion when I have seen many Muslims do the same. Things like female genital mutilation and women not being allowed to drive do not represent Islam, it represents a country.
I for one will not be walking behind my husband unless window shopping (a woman’s right).

“Can you get fired for covering your face?”
I am by no means an expert in Islam, but face covering (naqab/burka) is a hot topic on certain groups I’ve been on. I have read all the sides of the argument- from those who wear it and think it is compulsory, those who wear it just because they wish to, those who just wear a hijab (head scarf) and Muslims who do not cover at all. I have read the Quran passages about a woman’s clothes and have come to the conclusion that covering your face is not in Islam.

“And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms…” [Abdullah Yusuf Ali]

Phew.
However, I will cover my hair. I’m not a complete novice in this, in Egypt I sometimes wear a hijab to get less hassle, and during the winter in England I wore it a couple of times as it keeps my head, ears and neck warm (suits me better than earmuffs).

My parents are abroad so I get to put off that conversation for a little bit longer. My dad is easy going and will probably think the thing on my head is some sort of new celeb fad, but my mum… oh dear my mum…

Why Ramadan?

If anyone wants to try being a Muslim for a month, Ramadan is likely to prove to be by far the most difficult time. With no food or drink during daylight hours (remembering that is roughly 3.30am until 10pm in English summertime), that alone is a massive challenge for even the most devout Muslim. I fasted with my husband on two days last year, and all I could think about was FOOD. Preparing my sons meals was a nightmare, not being able to taste them to make sure they are ok, and the temptation they provided nearly proved my downfall. And that was just two non-consecutive days.
So why on earth did I pick that time of the year? Well despite the hardship, many Muslims will tell you this in when they feel closest to God and their religion. This is a time when Islam is at the front of their minds and they make the extra effort to avoid the bad and embrace the good. Surely I’m most likely to feel the spiritual side of the religion during the most spiritual time in the religion? Another plus side is that it will give my husband a companion during this time. In Egypt nearly the whole country are fasting, in England my husband is alone and losing out of the holiday feel the month has. I will share this with him the same way he shares my Christmas, Easter, pancake day, Halloween and firework night with me.

After Ramadan comes Eid, three days of celebrating and feasts. Typically Muslims will buy new clothes, give children toys/money, spend time visiting family, and eat lots. The last day or Eid, will be my last day as a Muslim.

Embracing Islam

Best to read the “About” page first.

So I have my mission: I am to be a Muslim for a month.
Now, before people shout at me about my wording, I know as an atheist, I cannot actually *be* a Muslim. Muslim means one who submits to Allah and that is not something you can just flick on for a month. But, what I will be doing is embracing the practises of the religion. I shall conduct myself as a Muslim woman, I shall learn to pray, stay clear of things considered haram (forbidden), such as eating pork. And my clothes will be conservative and my hair covered.
And I shall be doing all this in the holiest month to the Muslims, Ramadan. Considered the most spiritual time, I shall join in with the fast (no food, drink and ahem sexual relations during daylight hours) and read the Quran as I go.

Ramadan is to start July 20th, so this gives me time to learn the fundamentals (and buy head scarves/hijabs!) before I go “live”. I shall write what I learn so that others can learn with me, and will say my honest feelings. If I have Muslim readers who are likely to be offended by anything short of me converting to Islam at the end of the month, best stop reading now.

Having spoken with my husband he is giving me his support, however I still have friends, family and coworkers to explain to. They will all likely be most focused on what is suddenly on my head instead of the complete spiritual overhaul I’m undertaking. I can now understand why people find it easier to spend a fortune flying off to do this, anything is easier than explaining this to a religiousphobe mother!